


got it, captain

by jessepinkmans, peedrinker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Drinking, I mean its just bad flirting, M/M, Texting, noya kind of dies btw, the end is sin, theres a little bit of sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 09:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6369184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessepinkmans/pseuds/jessepinkmans, https://archiveofourown.org/users/peedrinker/pseuds/peedrinker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suga gets drunk. Daichi suffers.</p><p>Also known as the start of my captain kink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	got it, captain

**Author's Note:**

> god forgive us

_56% of men drunk text someone they love._

Koushi Sugawara never thought he'd be one of these men. He was far from an alcoholic; he actually abstained from alcohol for the most part with the exception of birthdays and holidays. It was Kei’s birthday, and although he didn't want one, Yamaguchi practically forced him to have a birthday party. A birthday party _full_ of alcohol. 3 drinks later and all Suga wanted to do was ( _fuck bitches)_ sing, but he also kinda wanted to go home. He was far too drunk to drive, he knew that, so he texted Daichi to pick him up. At least that's what he thought he texted Daichi.

**Suga: are you fi,tness?**

Daichi picked up his phone to find a text from Suga. He read it with brows furrowed, his confusion visible on his face.

 _Is he really that drunk?_ He thought to himself.

Daichi sort of regretted staying home, but the flu stops for no one, and the captain definitely wasn't willing to risk spewing his guts with the first drop of beer. Carefully, Daichi texted Suga back.

**Daichi: … What?**

The silver-haired boy laughed to himself as he quickly typed out another witty message.

**Suga: becayse im ginna be fittness tyis DICK in y, our mou th**

_What the fuck_

Daichi looked away from his phone, then back again. This wasn't a dream. This was real life; Suga was really this drunk.

**Daichi: Are you okay??? Do you need me to come pick you up?**

Suga’s answer was almost immediate. To be honest, it was kind of scary how fast he sent it.

**Suga: lol pic k me up,, with dem thigHs**

_Oh god oh god oh god,_ Daichi thought to himself.

Something must be wrong. Suga wouldn't text him this. What if he was trying to send some kind of weird message? What if he was so drunk he got hurt? The very worried Daichi decided to ignore his burning throat and drive to Tsukki’s house. It wasn't a far drive, but it sure felt like it. Halfway through the ride there he received another text from Suga. It was a picture.

The photo seemed like a normal picture of Suga, but there was something odd about the background.

**Daichi: um… it seems that someone is being choked in that picture**

**Suga: u can choek m, e daich i**

**Daichi: no. literally. I think Tsukki is choking noya**

Sure enough, when Daichi arrived, Nishinoya was unconscious, face down on Tsukki’s sofa. Tanaka was laughing at something on the TV, Tsukishima was sitting beside Tanaka, the beginnings of a smile forming on his half-drunken face, and Asahi was completely sober, a juice pouch rested in his hand. But Suga was nowhere to be found along with Kageyama and Hinata.  

Daichi looked around a few rooms until he heard loud screaming, he couldn’t make out what the person was screaming about but he was one hundred percent positive that it was Kageyama shouting at Hinata. Maybe they knew where Suga was? He shrugged and made his way over to the source of the screaming, carefully opening up the room door.

As soon as Daichi walked into the room he was met with Hinata jumping right on him, somehow managing to hang on while screaming “Dad, I missed you!” in the process. Daichi pushed Hinata off him, since honestly he couldn’t handle anything touching his sore body right now, and glanced around the room.

Kageyama and a shirtless Suga were on the bed,  Suga was in the process of pinning the other boys hair up with a paperclip and was failing miserably

If Daichi had some bleach on him he would've have drunk it. He knew that as his duty as former team dad, he had to make sure that everyone was alive and safely at home and that Suga wasn't going to end up hurting Kageyama with that paper clip. Sighing, he stepped over a now passed out Hinata and went over to Suga and Kageyama.

“Koushi, hand me that paper clip,” He basically commanded using his dad voice.

Suga, apparently not noticing Daichi's presence until now, turned around with a questioning look on his face. “Why? Shouyou really wants to see Tobio with his hair up and I can't let my son cry! That's horrible!”

_How much did he drink?_

Kageyama nodded as he rummaged through a box he had in his lap. He pulled out a glue stick and handed it over to Suga. “Stick.”

Suga grinned as he grabbed the glue stick and attempted to unscrew it.

“We’re going home, get up,” Daichi firmly grabbed the glue stick out of the grey haired boy's hand and put it back in the box, grabbing that as well and placing it on a shelf. “Kageyama, get up and grab Hinata.”

Although he was completely wasted, Kageyama nodded and got off the bed, clearly aware that he would probably get murdered if he didn't listen to Daichi. He “nudged” Hinata with his foot a few times before giving up and just lifting him up from the ground; that boy basically weighed nothing.

“Now Suga you go down to the car while I take Hinata and Kageyama back to their apartment. Got it?”

Suga nodded, not really focused on what Daichi was saying, and gave Daichi a suggestive look. Before Daichi had the chance to say anything Suga had already smacked his ass, rather roughly, and gave him a “got it, captain.”

Flustered by the whole situation, Daichi turned around and grabbed Kageyama's wrist, steadily guiding them out of the apartment and to the apartment next door. The door was already open, of course, and Kageyama seemed to have sobered up a little bit so he assumed that it was safe to leave them alone now.

This whole ordeal of getting everyone back to their apartments was hectic and he was grateful that Asahi was able to help him, after all he did leave Suga alone with the car and it was getting late.

Giving Asahi a quick thank you, Daichi headed out of the apartment, the soreness of his body now evident, and went down to the parking lot. Suga was sitting in the passenger seat, his face pressed against the glass. No matter how much of a hot mess he was, he still looked like an angel.

Daichi got into the driver's seat and made sure that Suga had his seatbelt on before driving off. As they drove, the street lights illuminated each contour and faint freckle on the sleepy, drunk boy's face. He was adorable, perfect. Daichi seemed to zone out, but every few minutes, he'd look over at Suga who was resting his head against the car window. Daichi felt like he could drive like this forever.

“Daichi…” Suga trailed off as he leaned back in his seat. “Can I call you daddy?”

“Um, I’d rather you don't. I'm not your dad Suga.” Daichi answered back, obviously confused by the term “daddy”.

He pulled into the reserved parking space of the small apartment complex that both Daichi and Suga lived in.

“Come on, Suga. I've got to take you home,” Daichi said lightly, giving Suga a small nudge.

“Daichiiiii,” the silver haired boy began to whine, “I don't want to go hoooome! I want to stay with you!!”

He _was_ rather loud, and it _was_ almost three in the morning, so Daichi begrudgingly agreed. It wasn't like they hadn't spent the night together before.

_But I only have one bed_

Daichi was a little nervous. He couldn't make Suga go home, but there was nowhere else for him to sleep and he was far too drunk and far too flirtatious. The black haired boy decided he'd have to suck it up, for the sake of his friend of course.

He began leading a very uncoordinated Koushi to the front door of his apartment, shooing him away from a decorative plant in the hall as he unlocked the front door.

“Listen,” He whispered, “You're drunk. You need to go get in bed. I'm going to go take some medicine, and when I get back you better be in the bedroom. No funny business.”

He felt like a father. Maybe he really was Suga’s dad. But he was _not_ letting him call him “daddy”.

Suga groaned loudly before slinking away to the bedroom. Daichi, now alone, took in the sudden silence and cherished the quiet moment where he took a swig of cough syrup. Sighing, he silently stepped into his bedroom to find an already sleeping boy in his bed. He smiled, happy to see he had done already good job at subduing the drunk. He climbed into the bed, flinching a bit when Suga rolled over already latched onto Daichi.

Daichi awoke at five to find Suga’s gluestick pressed against his thigh, but he ignored it, falling back asleep without questions. A few minutes later, his phone dinged, alerting him to a text from Nishinoya.  

  
**Nishinoya: hey, can you tell suga that he left his damn gluestick at tsukkis? I kinda got a hold of it last night and glued a bunch of paper to the walls. tsukki is pissed**

**Author's Note:**

> the cough syrup daichi took was straight up vodka  
> you can't tell me otherwise  
> I know the struggles of being a dad sweaty :)


End file.
